Again with the Insurance

So I tried to get x-rays done today for my hands. Unfortunately my insurance was the only one they didn't take. The only radiology place in my small town, so of course they don't. So now I have to wait til I can get a ride into the next town, half hour away. It may not seem like much. Hell, it use to not be to me either. But now it is. Sometimes just 5 minutes down the road is too much.
You can't tell by looking at me that there is something wrong. I've had to learn quite early on to hide it. You start to learn that the majority of people don't care. You get your sorries and then it's off to the next subject quicker than a magic trick. So you continue to hide it and just say you're fine day in and day out. And you hope you condition goes away or you get the proper treatment. And you never let it show on your face. Because people don't care anyways.
But it hurts. The pain in both of my hands is constant. And going up my arms again. Now is that from trying to do more work or from picking up MJ as she is getting bigger? I've always been secretly glad she is under weight, but in the same breath wishing she would just eat more. But she is healthy and I give her vitamins. She doesn't understand why I can't always pick her up and cries til I do. I grit my teeth and bare it. I try so hard to push it away, but it's always there.
So I was hoping to do the xrays today and see if they showed anything different from last time. My blood tests came back normal so I really am expecting the same. But there is still that slim chance that they show something different. Something that can tell them what is causing this problem and actually get a solution. Cause I want to do the normal life again. I'm tired of asking for help. Help that is hard to get. I'd like to be able to clean house efficiently. To care for my kid better. To cook from scratch instead of from a box.
But I don't see that happening in my future. Especially if my insurance is going to be a constant source of problems. Why do they have to make things difficult?