Here We Go Again

Well it's another sleepless night for me. Apparently asking when family has Free time for me to visit on an up coming trip between states is a reason to be yelled at. They want me to visit, but actually saying when to visit is wrong of me to ask. I'm travel with just MJ, who is almost 3, without her daddy. He has to stay and work. I thought it would be nice to have extra time to see everyone and not all crammed into one or two days. It's like traveling to Disney world without booking a hotel, then showing up and demanding a 5 day stay at a discounted price. You don't do that. You plan things out. Which is what I'm trying to do.
Plus you don't just take a toddler on a trip and expect her to keep up with adults. She has a schedule. I want to keep it as close as possible so she won't be overwhelmed or a cranky brat. Why is it so hard to respect that?
Oh, and once again I was told the pain in my hands is all in my head again. Are you for real? How about I kick you in the balls and tell you that pain doesn't exist? I wouldn't be going thru all these tests for nothing. And 5 years of it! Can you seriously make up this shit and keep lying for 5 years repeating the same stuff? I hate drugs! I don't want to be on them! My parents were assholes growing up from drug use. I worked in a pharmacy and have seen what long term drug abuse looks like. I don't want to be like that. I take only what I need to just make it thru the day. And I hate it. I'd rather be working then sitting in pain all day. But it's all in my head. Yeah.
Of course my parents took my brother's side. Oh that's just how he is, I can't say anything to him about it. You shouldn't worry about those things. Seriously? Thanks for not sticking up for me. I keep forgetting he is the only one they like. Geez, my family sure does suck.
I try to stick to this notion of family and how they should be kind and caring and looking out for each other. But that is totally not the case here. I need to give up that notion and just stop visiting them. I already regret this trip and I haven't even left yet.